Conflict Resolution (Auburn, Alabama)

I was on Facebook and read Asia's status, “Can you be in love and broken hearted at the same time?”

I sent her a message, “Yes. I think so.”

She sent back a response quickly. “Are you online? Can you chat?”

“Yes,” I replied. And went online.

“Where are you?” she asked quickly.

“I am with my parents in Alabama.”

“How is that?” she typed out.

“Restful. On the brink of boring.”

“Of course. If not, you would still be living at home.” She made a smiley face.

“I suppose so.”

“So you say you can be broken hearted and in love?”

“Yes.”

“Explain.”

“Well I think I am causing that. I am not feeling it.”

“Well then good, maybe I can get a new angle. Do you love her?”

“Yes. But I feel she has lost herself.”

“Women do that. We love you men so much. That yes, sometimes we lose ourselves in you.”

“And I feel like I have lost who I am as well.”

“Does it change your feelings for her?”

“No. But I want her to have her own life. I want her to be happy irregardless of me.”

“I noticed you changed your relationship status.”

“Shit. I know. All 400 people noticed that. I was just trying to shut off the relationship status so it wouldn’t show up.”

“Why?”

I waited before typing an answer. “I don’t know. Privacy?”

“But you write about everything.”

“But not everybody reads it.”

“She is very sexy.” She paused. “Are you happy?”

“I am a very lucky, lucky person.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I don’t think she is happy because I am both a good and a bad person.”

“All of us are.”

“But that’s the conflict.”

“Me too.”

“You?” I scratched my head. “You are an inspiration for your country. How could that be bad?”

“Well sometimes I feel I am more bad than good.”

“Well go to your momma for the resolution.”

“Huh?”

“If you need reinforcement for your life, go to your momma. Ask her what she thinks. She will give it to you straight. Or talk to a stranger. Like me.”

“And?”

“And they will tell you – you are an inspiration to millions of women in the Philippines. You allow them to not be ashamed to be beautiful and be sexual. You show them power when they feel they are weak.”

Asia was quiet. “And you do the same.”

“Not to millions.”

“But to one. And maybe that’s why she has lost herself in you.”

“But I am a bad guy.”

“With a pure heart.”

I wondered if at that moment do others chat with superstars and get advice.

“Thank you, Jackson.” It showed she was typing but nothing came back for a couple of seconds. Then, “Look its 4 am here in Amsterdam. I need to get some sleep.”

“Thanks for chatting.”

“No I needed this. More than you will ever know.”

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