The First and the Last

I have noticed the patterns.

Around 1999, all my twenty-something friends in the States were in a mad rush to get married. And just after 2000, all of my American friends were in a frantic dash to buy a home. Then around 2003 and 2004, the marriages started showing cracks. Some saved theirs. Others didn’t. I was of the latter group. Then everyone in the “didn’t work out” group – started hitting the dating scene again – looking for greener pastures. Some went crazy with a different person every night. Some became stalkers. Others became depressed. And around 2007, they started regretting being part of the “didn’t work out” group and realized who they had left hadn’t been so bad. To add insult to injury, they would meet up with the “we worked it out and are stronger than ever” group. And they became envious.

I think it’s at this time finally we in the “didn’t work out” realize what love is. Especially if we tried a second time with no success. Its unattainable. Its not a formula. Its not a book to read. Its not a certification or a training program. And sometimes its not even good. But its not bad either.

The best thing for love is to wait and make yourself better. Watch others in love. See your flaws. Correct emotional ticks. Embrace your weaknesses. Enhance your strengths.

Think Sarah Conner in the Terminator 2 when she was in the insane asylum preparing for a nuclear war that she knew was coming.

So with all the patterns, the rationalizing, the emotional and mental angst, the relationship cross-training, and the multiple rebirths: single guy, married guy, divorced guy, single guy again, sex addict guy, lonely and shallow guy, attached but non-committal guy, and finally single guy the third.

And suddenly, it happens.

Love.

And god, it's crazy.

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