“What happens tomorrow? Huh? When we all go back to our normal lives? Are we all going to be friends? Am I going to watch you two get pregnant? Or get AIDS and die? How are you going to help your families then?” I yelled on the beach.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Rabbit said and she jumped up from her beach chair in her string bikini – almost popping out.
“I cannot do this. I cannot act like this is a wonderful little vacation. When this might be the last time I see you – happy. Hell, alive.”
“You don’t know us.” Rose said. Also picking herself from her beach chair and adjusting her bikini top over her breasts.
“Right! Exactly! I don’t know you. Hell you haven’t even given me your real names. Rose? And Rabbit? What the fuck names are those?!” And I took my bottle water and threw it at the palm tree. “Most guys are going to just see you as meat. And how are you going to find a good guy doing what you are doing? Good guys don’t go and pay for sex.”
“Fuck you! You hear me!” Rabbit screamed at me. “Fuck you!”
“No. That’s exactly the point! I don’t want to. I think you two women are amazing. Why do you disrespect yourselves like this… Uhhh…” And I was so mad that I couldn’t vocalize any words. Finally it came out, “Stay away from me! Get away from me! I don’t want to see either of you anymore. Okay?! Fuck you both!” And I stormed back to my Casita 19.
A million thoughts were raging through my brain. Again, I was angry with God. Why do circumstances warrant that two of the oldest daughters be forced to quit high school and become ‘bar girls’ to provide for their families? And why the hell didn’t their fathers keep their dicks out of their mothers or learn to control his cum – so he wouldn’t have six kids and force the oldest daughter to be high class prostitutes? He couldn’t afford one child especially six. And hell why was I stuck on this remote island in the Philippines alone? What was wrong with me?
I was walking in circles in my bedroom with the doors open letting the ocean breeze blow through. I could feel the cool wind on my pink sunburn. Suddenly, when I turned around I saw them standing on my deck. Rabbit had her arms crossed and she was angry still – I could see it in her pretty face. But then I saw Rose, she smiled meekly.
“You have a good heart.” And she reached out and touched it.
“You don’t know my heart. It isn’t good.”
“Yes, it is good.” Rose said.
I shook my head. “Look, I told you to leave me alone. Get away from me!”
Rose came closer to me. And she said, “We are not going to leave you alone.”
“Why not? Leave me alone!”
That’s when Rabbit spoke and uncrossed her arms, “If we leave you, you will be alone. You will be all alone on this island by yourself. We don’t want you to be alone. No one deserves to be alone.”
That’s when I cracked. I went down on the bed crying. And the women climbed all over me hugging me and wiping away my tears.
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